Typical...

So, where have I been in the past week? Are my hands cracked and torn from pulling up watermelons? Have my shoes been taken by roving bands of Aboriginies? Have I watched “Wolf Creek” yet? Oh, my friends, what a week this has been…

First of all, I’m not fruit picking yet. On Friday, when I got the call that I wasn’t getting the IT position, I had worked myself into a panicked flurry of confusion and teeth (Which is also the name of Darryl Bumchin’s debut album, in stores now! Just in time for Christmas!) so I called the fruit pickers, and set myself up a bed and work. The thing about fruit picking is that it’s hard work, but it pays decent, and you tend not to spend money, since there’s really nothing on which to spend it. So I was all ready to go out to Mildura, when a friend of mine suggested I pass around some C.V.’s (resumes to us North Americans) to various restaurants around the Bondi Beach area, and see what happens. So I did that on Saturday, and just hung out the rest of the time…

Sunday rolls around, and I got a phone call to work at a place called (I couldn’t possibly make this up) “The Hog’s Breath Saloon” out on the beach. It seems to be a lot like Montana’s with wooden booths and a whole lot of crazy crap on the walls. Mostly stuffed pigs, actually. It’s very bizarre. Anyhow, so I’m supposed to start work on Friday….

So Monday comes, and Stef, one of the staff members from Wake Up, comes into my room, and asks me if I want to work at a different hostel (Footprints, actually. You may remember it from a couple posts ago? No? People, there’s gonna be a test on all this when I get home, you should really be taking notes). I told him I already had a bartending job, but this job would be Activities Manager, which basically means I take people around to various bars, pub crawls, run quiz nights, that sort of thing. I’m like, yeah that sounds like a good time. But by the time I had come down and spoken to the manager, he had already filled the position. Curses, this would have been a great experience. No big deal though, as I already have a bartending job, but this would have kept me downtown and given me free lodging. Oh well. Back to working at Hog’s Breath.

In order to work in a restaurant in New South Wales, you have to be RSA (Respoinsible Service of Alcohol) certified. It basically just means that, because the restaurant, bar or what have you is responsible for the safety of its patrons, you have to know when to cut people off, send them home, and that sort of thing. Not very exciting, but it needed to be done, so I did that on Wednesday, and got certified. Fact: That was the most boring paragraph I have ever written.

Thursday, Stef catches me in the lobby and apologizes for the Activities Manager snafu, and says he has a consolation prize for me. “How would you like to work on a surf camp along the coast?” Um… doy? Yuh, I’ll do that! So I called the manager, and we had a meeting where he described the job, and what I would be doing. Basically, for free room, board, booze and surfing, I would be like a gopher, cleaning, cooking, packing surf gear that sort of thing. I wouldn’t make any money, but I wouldn’t really need to spend any anyways. Not a bad deal, but I would need to take a bus up to the camp myself, take the surf lessons, and the guys there would determine whether I could work there. So I’d have to spend my own money to *possibly* get a job along the coast. I would have to think about it, I said, and think I did…

As I was coming up from the meeting, Stef caught me AGAIN, and told me that Footprints had gotten rid of the person they hired for the Activities job, and wanted to speak to me right away. Gads! So many options. So I went to the manager of the other hostel, spoke to him, and found out that they were very interested in hiring me, as they had heard good things from Stef and some of the other staff at Wake Up, and thought I would be a good candidate. I’d get to stay here for free, work 3 nights a week, and have the rest of the time to myself. I wouldn’t get paid on top of the free accommodation, but I could get another job in the meantime. Another job? Don’t I still have the bartending job? I do!

So here’s where stand: I’m now the activities Manager for Footprints hostel, and also bartending at Hog’s Breath Saloon. Tonight is my first night doing a pub crawl out to a couple pubs and nightclubs in downtown Sydney, and then I start pouring drinks for surfers tomorrow night.

Fruit picking will still need to be done, however, but at least I can put that off for a few months, and not have to do it when it’s hotter than the boiling point of Satan’s urine (which I believe is a mere 48 degrees Celcius).

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Post removed due to excessive wishy-washiness...

*Sigh*

Well folks, I've hit a wall. The job I was supposed to get fell through, so now I'm in a bit of a pickle. Luckily, I have some options. Unluckily, they all involve me going to the middle of nowhere and picking god-knows-what kind of fruits/vegetables/insect-ridden weeds. So I'm heading to a small town called Mildura north of Melbourne on Monday night, and I'm gonna be there for a few weeks/months or however long I can tolerate it. On the plus side, I need to do this to extend my working visa anyways, so I have to do it at some point, I was just hoping to not have to do this until next year, as it's summer in Aus right now, and some days are getting up to 45 degrees in these parts. Oh well...

I would also like to add that I don' know what my phone/internet access is going to be like out there, so all 5 of you who read this may not get any sort of updates for a while. Rest assured, I'll likely still be alive and not eaten by funnel web spiders in my sleep. That's what I hope anyhow...

And one more thing, thank you to all who post comments to my inane posts. It makes me smile whenever I see someone respond to the junk I have to say. So thanks again, and I'll be making one more post before I leave Sydney on Monday. Right now I'm gonna go drown my sorrows in a schooner of Tooheys New...

Buenos Noche el Mexicano!

I think that means something about nachos and Mexi-fries. I dunno, my Spanish is a little rusty...

Anyhow, this will just be a quick picture update with regards to last night's festivities, it being Mexican Night in the Sidebar. So being Mexican Night, people were dressed up in ponchos, sombreros, or Mexican wrestling masks (although really, there was only 1 guy in the wrestling mask, and everyone thought he was wearing a gimp mask. Don't know what a gimp mask is? Google it! You'll be pleasantly surprised!). Regardless, I had to have a big old Mexican moustache drawn on my otherwise beautiful face (and I was told I look like a dirty dirty Mexican), and got a sombrero from the bar staff. It was good times.


One of the many highlights of the evening for me was the Limbo contest. For those of you who may not know this, I'm a pretty flexible guy. And I lurves me some Limbo. So people all lined up for Limbo-ing, and it began...


After about 20 people were eliminated for hitting their knees, or their head on the bar, it was me and this dude from Taiwan.


As we went on and on, the announcer kept asking the crowd who they wanted to see win, Taiwan (*clap* *clap*) or Canada (uproarious cheering and applause) so of course, there was no pressure. Once the bar got to about 2 feet, it happened.... My legs gave out and my knees hit the ground. The Taiwanese limboed under and won the competition. I think he actually could have even gone lower! Turns out he's a professional breakdancer and he's super limber anyways. (Do you think they cal it 'Limbo' because you need to be 'Limber'? Google it! You'll be pleasantly surprised! Or mildly disappointed, I'm not sure).

Anyhow, while I did lose, a lot of people were impressed with the show, and even when I went down to get food today, I had people coming up to me and telling me how they were hoping I would win. Oh well... there's always next time.

By the way, here's a shot of my friend Shawna from back home, who was also out to Mexican Night. There's so many Canadians here right now!


I don't know how she scammed the sombrero though, as you need to drink 5 tequilas or 5 Coronas to get one. I think she may have killed someone for it, so if you're wearing a sombrero and this girl starts talking to you, call the Feds!

28 Days Later

Well, really, it's about 31 days now I suppose. Regardless, I have been here for a full month without being deported. A record for me! (Screw you Sweden!)

Well, this week has been pretty busy actually. I went to the Pearl Jam concert on Wednesday night. Let me tell you, it was a very different experience than going to a concert in North America. For one thing, you're not allowed to drink or smoke in the arena itself. And while I don't smoke, I can now appreciate how much just being able to makes the crowd enjoy the show much more. Pearl Jam was great, but the crowd... well, let's just say they seemed less than enthusiastic about being at the show. Why would someone spend a minimum of $100 to go to a concert, and merely stand around to see the show. There was no moshing, no body surfing, no dancing really. After the 3rd song, Eddie Vedder (the lead singer for you Non-Pearl-Jammers) said almost word for word, "You guys feel free to move around. I don't know what security is like around here, but we're starting to feel like we're playing in a church or something" and it was true. It was the weirdest concert I've ever been to...

So after the concert, I came back to the hostel, and I had to move out yesterday. Not because of something I did (surprise surprise), but simply because they were full for a couple days, and I didn't re-book early enough. So now I'm at another one that's down the street, and the difference is striking. The one I'm at now, Footprints, is apparently the one that took 'Best Hostel in Australia' for 2002, 2003, and 2004. Well, it is not, my friends, a very good hostel. I'm in a room with 5 other people, and it is supercramped, and a little dirty. It's like living in a third world country. Not to mention that the other people in the room BARELY speak English. So I'm not really diggin' it, though at least I'm going back to the hostel I was at before tomorrow, the Wake Up! Hostel. Plus it's Mexican Night tomorrow at the Side Bar, so I gotta get me a sombrero and poncho. Or perhaps see if I can run across a border somewhere under cover of darkness.

Oh yes, and I seem to have found myself a job. It's an IT job in North Sydney, which will be good. Then I'll be hanging out with Aussies instead of just hanging out with people in the hostels. Don't get me wrong, I like them all of course, but it'll be a nice change to talk to people who live here, instead of other travellers. I should be starting next week, so I'll have to find a place to live close by, or it's going to be a 45 minute bus ride every day to and from. Which isn't a big deal, I suppose, but I'd still like to be able to walk to work, or just live in the area. Someplace different than downtown Sydney would be quieter I think. Or maybe I'll stay in the hostel the whole time. I don't know the length of the contract yet, so I'll have to make that decision when I find out. Regardless, things are moving along nicely!

Back in the Saddle Again...

Not really. Actually I don't know why I chose that title. I need to get out more...

OK, so I'm back in Sydney now. Sadly, this blog will likely not be very interesting for the next little while (not that it's been riveting so far, I know). But now that I'm back in Sydney, I feel more at home. I dunno why, but Sydney just seems to be more my style. I'm like a mini-celebrity here! Well, not really, but I like to think so. It helps me sleep at night.

So I need to find a job and a place to live for the next little while. Hostel living is OK, but I'm on the top bunk now which sucks, and it's going to be inconvenient when I do find work. But anyway, enough of my drunken ramblings...

So what have I been doing the past few days? (Boy I love it when people ask questions to themselves, then answer, don't you? Yes, yes I do.) So really, I've been laying low the past little while. I went out with a friend, Shawna, last night to a few pubs in Bondi Beach. Shawna and I actually met in Calgary, and realized we were both going to be in Sydney at the same time, so we've tried to get together a couple times since we've been here. We ended up going to an Irish pub called the Tea Garden (that hardly sounds Irish in my opinion, but really, a place called 'Whiskey Drinking Micks' would probably not have the patronage this place does), then we went to another pub down the street called the Cock and Bull (which is marginally more Irish sounding, but infinitely more giggle-inducing) where they had an Oasis cover band playing. They were pretty good actually, considering I'm not an Oasis fan, but the best part of it was the groupie standing off to the side staring at the lead singer.

Keep in mind folks, that she's not a groupie for Oasis, she's a groupie for a band who plays Oasis music and doesn't really look anything like Oasis. Also, I'm trying to see how many times I can type Oasis in my blog, so anyone Googling 'Oasis' gets my page, and my readership goes up, and I reap the benefits! Of course, my readers would consist of mostly disgruntled Oasis fans, but you gotta take the good with the bad...

Now, where was I? Oh yes, after the Cock and Bull (tee hee!) we hopped the train to head back to the city to go to a couple other bars. Sadly, this Irish pub closed at midnight! O, how we lamented this early closing time, and from an Irish pub no less! {Random Dead Irish Celebrity} would be spinning in his/her grave! (Rob Roy? James Joyce? Liam Neeson? Any one of those will do.) So we ended up at yet another Irish pub called Scruffy Murphy's, which also had a band play which was luckily not an Oasis cover band, or worse, Oasis themselves. We danced and drank all night and I didn't get home till 5am this morning. So needless to say I'm a little sleepy today. I was supposed to go looking for work and/or an apartment, but I've been pretty lazy and have done naught but surf the net and clean up my resume. And of course, type this long stream-of-consciousness post to my blog.

I also had to include this picture of a couple of Irish guys I met in Melbourne. Steve, the raging lunatic, is screaming something, and I don't remember what. The other guy I don't actally know, but he is a lifetime member of the Irish Drinking Team apparently, and has some sort of brain deficiency, judging by the look on his face. Nonetheless, I laugh every time I see it. Now you too can laugh. Laugh, damn you! Well, whatever...