Kev in Aus

Chronicling the misadventures of a Canadian traveling through Australia. There's seemingly far too many of us!

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Yarr Me Hearties!

Yes, it's that time of year again. The decorations are up, and costumes are on, and everyone's in the spirit of the times. That's right, it's International Talk-Like-A-Pirate Day. Actually, it was yesterday, but the 2 of you who are reading this are still in a part of the world where it's September 19th when I'm posting this, so I'm safe.

What did we do on this most holiest of holy days? Why, dressed up as pirates of course! We wore our pirate gear at work, served people their grub and grog, and threatened to make people walk the plank if they couldn't come up with enough pieces o' eight for their meals. Or as I like to call it, "A Typical Wednesday Night". Good times were had by all, except the guy we keelhauled. He had some issues.

I do have a couple pictures, but I can't post them from here. Hopefully I'll get some up in the next few days.

Oh! We had some special guests at lunch today, though their not too famous for me. 10 members of the Brisbane Broncos came in to Hoggies for lunch today. For perspective, this would be equivalent of the Vancouver Canucks and Jesus walking into a pub in Kelowna and grabbing some drinks. I suspect Jesus would simply order a water though, and still come out pretty hammed. The locals around here were practically wetting themselves over the thought of having them here, so I was the one who had to look after them. I was also able to grab some pics of them too, but, again, I'll have to post them later. Good lads, but they didn't even tip. Good thing I put that botulism in their steaks. Win the finals now, jerks!

Not much else going on folks. Business as usual in the resort town. Zing!

Sunday, September 09, 2007

5 Best Aussie TV Shows

So other than working, what do I do with my time? Well, since I tend to work 6 days a week at a minimum, I don't do a heck of a lot. In my off time, I tend to do nothing but watch TV, read, or practice playing my guitar (I'm still terrible, by the way). For those of you not familiar with Aussie TV, here are my 5 favourite shows, which you can probably download from YouTube:

5 - Bondi Rescue : Basically a reality show where they show lifeguards saving people's lives, competing in meaningless contests, and bragging about how much they can drink. I don't watch this very often, since it's never on when I have a day off, but when I was living in Sydney, I would watch it all the time. I even caught the camera crew a few times filming since I worked in Bondi for a while. It was pretty cool, and they would occasionally show topless women sunbathing on the beach. Score!

4 - Border Patrol : Yet another sort of reality show in which security guards in the airports or coast guard would bust people for trying to bring drugs, alcohol or unregistered snakes into the country. I dig it cuz I like watching idiots try to lie there way out of being caught with half a kilo in their luggage. You didn't know it was there? Oh, well, well just let you go then. Dumbass...

3 - Rugby Union/Rugby League/AFL : Really any sport that Aussies love is a treat to watch, since they go crazy for it. I've honestly never seen a group of people more dedicated to their sports than Aussies. The Rugby World Cup is on right now (Go Canada!) and the town pretty much stops when there's a game on, since most countries are represented in Airlie. But any other day of the week, when one of these is on, people are glued to their TV's. I'd also like to point out that, yes, even the Aussie women love watching rugby and AFL (mostly AFL for some reason). Canadians don't hold a candle to the Aussies when it comes to loving their sports teams.

2 - The Chaser's War on Everything : Brilliant satire and observational humour about the world around us. These are the guys who broke through the tight security net around the Sydney CBD this past week (dressed as Osama Bin Laden) claiming to be Canadian PM Stephen Harper and exposed the massive spending on security as a big waste of taxpayers money. But it doesn't end there. You can definitely grab some clips from YouTube, and I'd suggest you do, because everything I've seen from this show makes me laugh. It's like the Daily Show, but way funnier.

1 - Thank God You're Here : Everything about this show is great. The idea is that a comedian is given some sort of costume, gets thrown into a situation without any prior knowledge, and has to improvise the storyline, and gets a score based on how good he was in the scenario. Example: One of the contestants was given a Sherlock Holmes type outfit, knocked on a door, and was put into a situation where he had just visited the queen and had some startling information (I can assure you, it's much funnier than I can portray). Top notch comedy, and I'd highly recommend seeing some clips. Sadly, they recreated this show in the US, and it wasn't nearly as funny. Seriously, go to YouTube, find any of the clips with Josh Lawson, and if you're not laughing in 5 minutes, you should just stab a fork into your eye, because you need serious help. If you must watch it with North American accents, Harland Williams does a pretty good job as the professor.

And..... end scene.

Saturday, September 08, 2007

Good News?

Really quick update here folks. I've applied for my visa extension, and it's been approved *pending a medical and/or chest x-ray*. WTF? Of course, this means travelling to Brisbane for a couple days, getting it done, and having the documents all sent into the government. Bah!

However, my bridging visa has been approved, which basically means that I'm allowed to stay in the country as long as my visa is being processed, which could take me beyond my October 9th deadline. Woohoo I guess.

Still, what could they possibly be looking for now that they didn't think was important enough before I came here to begin with? I dunno. Maybe stray bullets? I inhaled some crack I've been trying to smuggle in for 11 months now? How very strange.

This is somewhat good news, however, in the sense that I'm pretty sure I'm in good enough health to be approved after this has been done.

Over and out.

Monday, September 03, 2007

I'm Down With the Sickness

Australia right now is currently going through a big economic crisis due to the Equine Flu. Yes, that's right. Horses getting a little sniffle is causing huge problems in Oz. This isn't because horses are used for transport or anything like that (though I'm sure it is in some of the outback areas), but because of the large amount of betting that goes on in the horse races. Economists reckon that the country has lost billions in the past week because they have quarantined heaps of horses in all the states. New South Wales (where Sydney is) still has a few cases popping up now and then, so they're still under quarantine, but the other states are up and running. Of course, trainers are actually staying away from the tracks because they don't want their horses to catch the flu and have more outbreaks. and the TAB depots (betting halls) are feeling it too, because punters bet on horses, not on dog races (although with the quarantines, greyhounds are seeing a lot more action just to keep people happy.

In somewhat related news, I've been hit with a flu of some description for the past few days myself. Nothing too major, and I'm sure I'll live. I did go to the doctor and he assured me I'm OK. Turns out you have to actually BE a horse to get the Equine Flu, not just hung like one.

That was a long way to go for a really bad joke.

At any rate, I was able to head out on a yacht for the Fun Race on Saturday. It's just a chance for everyone to go out and sit on their boats and drink piss all afternoon. It was a lot of fun, and I actually got a chance to learn a little about sailing and such. It was recommended I take a Competent Crew Course so I can actually sail a boat and know my port from my starboard (I already know these, of course). I may end up doing that if I'm here for a while.

And in that vein, I'll be applying for my visa extension in the next few days, so I will hopefully know my fate by the end of the week. I know you're all dying to know what I'm doing next, all 3 of you.